Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Day in the Life of a Vegan

From Passive-Aggressive Vegan Grocer: A Day in the Life by Meredith Gray

6:30 a.m.
Awake to a bright and morally untroubling day. Waft into kitchen to prepare a healthy, animal-free breakfast. See that girlfriend (Jennifer) has cooked cream-of-tomato soup in my saucepan, and has left it in sink. Don't want to start fight. Instead, blend spirulina breakfast shake in blender for entirety of time in shower.

7:30 a.m. Put PETA "I am not a nugget" T-shirt on under work polo. I know I've made a small difference.

8:15 a.m.-8:25 a.m. After leaving questionably sarcastic note for Jennifer, drive to work. Tailgate Durango with "Carnivore" sticker. Feel he noticed: small victory. Arrive at work. Clock in. Intentionally snub butchers' department; give them the finger with hands in pockets.

9:20 a.m. Fellow-cashier (Brandi) asks for price on eggs. "The price is too high," I say. "Too high." She is so moved by my answer, she does not consult me for price checks for rest of day.

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